Perpetrator Name and Alias: Beans.
D.O.B.: July.
Wanted For: Knocking people over and sitting on them.
Previous Offenses : Stinking up cars, eating shoes and excessive shedding
Current M.O.: Companion to NASCAR driver Sam Hooker.
Known Associates: Sam Hooker and Alex Barnaby.
Early background: Crotch sniffer and ignorer of commands like "stay" and "come".
Last Known Residence: St. Bernard rescue shelter.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Excessive drool, bad breath.
Hobbies: Chewing bones, eating, chasing balls and sleeping.
Usual Attire: Fur coat.
Conclusion: Approach with caution and dog cookies.
FUN FACT:
When I was 9 years old Janet bought me a little lemon colored, Beagle puppy. I named her Kathy, but within a week or two she had taken on the nickname Beans. You know the song...
Baked beans,
the musical fruit.
The more you eat,
the more you toot.
The more you toot,
the better you feel.
So let's have beans,
for every meal.
Me and Beans.-- Alex
