Eleven on Top

Stephanie Plum- Bounty hunter who is tired of rolling in garbage, getting stalked by crazed killers, taunted by naked fat men, firebombed, shot at, spat at, cussed at, chased by humping dogs, attacked by a flock of Canadian honkers, and her cars getting destroyed. She seeks a management position in a classy company.

Dave Loogie- Owned the hot dog stand where Stephanie worked when she was 18.

Vinnie Plum- Stephanie’s cousin who owns the bail bonds office. The family pervert.

Connie- Shuffles the paperwork at the bail bonds office.

Lula- Stephanie’s sidekick, newly promoted to bounty hunter. A size-sixteen black woman squashed into size ten leopard print spandex.

Ranger- The mystery man. He moves like a cat, kicks ass all day long, smells warm and sexy, and only wears black. He wants to get Stephanie naked and put a smile on her face.

Joe Morelli- Hard-bodied Trenton cop with molten-chocolate eyes and lots of Italian libido. He and Stephanie have a long and interesting history.

Angel Robbie- FTA Ranger that brought in.

Rex- Stephanie’s Hamster. He lives in a glass aquarium on her kitchen counter.

Generous George- Owner of Generous George’s Used Car Emporium who sold Stephanie a dark green Saturn SL2.

Karen Slobodsky- Works in the personnel office at the button factory.

Bob- Morelli’s dog. He’s a big, orange, and incredibly huggable shaggy-haired monster with an eating disorder.

Jimmy Alizzi- Karen Slobosdky’s boss at the button factory.

Larry- Celebrated his birthday without cake.

Willie Martin- Lula’s FTA who used to play ball and now boosts cars.

Aunt Rose- Joe Morelli’s Aunt. She left him her house when she passed away.

Michael Barroni- Hardware store owner who disappeared.

Sol Rosen- Saw Michael Barroni lock up and take off.

Louis Lazar- Disappeared same day as Michael Barroni. Bar owner on Stark Street.

Benny Gorman- Owned a garage, FTA for assault with a deadly weapon. Disappeared same day as Michael Barroni.

Mary Lou Stankovic- Stephanie’s best friend all through school.

Mary Lou Stankovic’s three kids- A screaming advertisement for birth control.

Mabel Markowitz- Shares common wall with Stephanie’s parents. Her half of the house is painted lime green (the paint was on clearance).

Grandma Mazur- Stephanie’s Grandmother. She loves going to viewings at Stiva’s Funeral Home.

Mrs. Plum- Stephanie’s Mom. She’s glad Stephanie quit bounty hunting, now she can sleep at night.

Marjorie Kuzak- Her daughter works in the employment office at the button factory.

Harry Farstein- Died of a heart attack.

Lydia Farstein- Harry Farstein’s drama queen wife.

Constantine Stiva- Owner of the funeral home.

Grandma Bella- Morelli’s Grandmother. She’s a white-haired old lady who dresses like an extra in a Godfather flashback. She has visions, puts spells on people and scares Stephanie.

Bitsy Mullen- Wants to hide in ladies room to avoid Grandma Bella’s “eye”.

Francine Blainey- Got the “eye” from Grandma Bella and got big herpes sores all over her face.

Mrs. Lubcheck – Dumped ice tea on Grandma Mazur and Grandma Bella.

Emma Wilson- Works part time at Micheal Barroni’s hardware store.

Anthony Barroni- Michael’s Barroni’s youngest son.

Great Uncle Sandor- He left Grandma Mazur “Big Blue”, his powder-blue ’53 Buick.

Mama Macaroni- Owner of Kan Klan cleaners with a boulder of a mole on her face.

Mario Macaroni- Mama Macaroni’s son who supervises the day to day operations of Kan Klan cleaners.

Gina Macaroni- Mama Macaroni’s daughter-in-law. She keeps the books and runs day care for Mama Macaroni’s grandchildren.

Mr. Ginzler- Lives in Stephanie’s apartment building.

Carla Barroni- Micheal Barroni’s Wife.

Elroy Dish- Ranger's FTA.

Tank- He watches Ranger’s back. Second in command at RangeMan.

Hal- Works for Ranger. He’s not the sharpest tack on the corkboard, but he tries. He looks like a dinosaur. He’s Halosaurus.

Woody- One of Ranger’s men.

Milton Mann- Manager at Cluck-in-a-bucket.

Eddie Gazarra- Stephanie’s cop friend who laughs so hard he wets his uniform.

Emanuel Lowe- Lula’s FTA AKA the DV.

Mr. Plum- Stephanie’s dad. He retired from the post office and now drives a cab.  He wishes Grandma Mazur would go far away, that Stephanie’s sister would leave the state, and that Sally Sweet would leave the universe.

Sol Razzi- Professional arsonist.

Valerie- Stephanie’s sister who is getting married. She looks like a big white whale in her wedding dress.

Angie- Valerie’s first born, a near-perfect clone of Valerie.

Mary Alice- Angie’s sister. She thinks she’s a horse.

Lisa- Valerie’s and Albert Kloughn’s baby.

Sally Sweet- The wedding planner. He drives a bus during the week and on the weekends plays in a band in full drag.

Emily Restler- Has a daughter who has worked at the bank for 10 years and had was never once in a shoot out.

Biddie Schmidt- Nobody wants to sit next to her at the wedding.

Peggy Linehart- Everybody wants to sit next her to  at the wedding.

Albert Kloughn- Valerie’s fiancé, Lisa’ father, and sweetie-pie lawyer.

Terry Runion- Albert Kloughn’s client.

Jimmy Runion- Disappeared same day as Micheal Barroni.

Linda- Stephanie’s cousin who works at the DMV.

Marilyn Rugach- Works at Stiva’s Funeral Home part-time doing the bookkeeping.

Bonnie Sue Giovichinni- Works the register at Giovichinni’s meat market.

Eugene- Works at Cluck-in-a-Bucket.

Fred- Works at Cluck-in-a-Bucket.

Carl Costanza- Cop who’s often first on scene to Stephanie’s disasters.

Mr. Alexander- Fixes Stephanie’s hair disaster.

Dillion Ruddick- Stephanie’s building super.

Ryan Laski- Cop who is working a case with Morelli.

Vince- RangeMan employee.

Silvio- RangeMan employee.

Ella- Ranger’s housekeeper.

Frederick Rodriguez- RangeMan employee.

Ram- RangeMan employee.

Carol Zambelli- Just purchased new hooters and now she can’t button her coat.

Tony- Morelli’s brother.

Mooch- Morelli’s cousin.

Stanley Skulnik and Ray Daily- Two of Morelli’s friends.

Alvirez- RangeMan Employee.

Celia- Ranger’s sister.

Marty Sanchez- Dated Ranger’s sister.

Gimp Whiteside- Old man that helped Lula test out her stun gun.

Big Dog- Carl Constanza’s partner.

Mickey Branchek- He had heart attack and died with an enormous erection.

--Special thanks to Kim, who sent this list in. Nice work!!