One for the Money

Stephanie Plum - Bounty hunter, former lingerie buyer, Jersey girl. Notable quote: "Everything in New Jersey has a bad smell, its one of the few things a person can count on."

Joseph Morelli - Bad kid, good cop, murder suspect. Notable quote: "It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence."

Mary Lou Molnar - Stephanie's best friend since childhood. Notable quote: "He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush." (referring to Joseph Morelli, of course)

Lenny Gruber - "Maggot" repo man.

Mrs. Markowitz - Next door neighbor to Stephanie's parents.

Grandma Mazur - Stephanie's doorknob-kneed, ancient, yet spry grandmother. Notable quote: "I shot that sucker right in the gumpy."

Frank Plum - Stephanie's stoic father.

Helen Plum - Stephanie's long-suffering mother, prime example of a 'burg housewife.

Joyce Barnhardt - Homewrecker who slept with Stephanie's (now ex) husband.

Ronald Buzick - A fat, bald butcher whom Helen Plum considers for a potential fix-up with Stephanie.

Bernie Kuntz - Appliance salesman who is another potential match for Stephanie in her mother's mind. He suffers admirably through a typical Plum-family dinner.

Rex - Stephanie's hamster. Trusted companion and confidant.

Vincent "Vinnie" Plum - Stephanie's sleazy cousin, who runs Vincent Plum Bail Bonding Company. He is described as "a worm, a sexual lunatic, a dog turd."

Connie Rosolli - Vinnie's receptionist. Quintessential Italian Jersey girl. Notable quote: "The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics."

Morty Beyers - Bounty hunter working for Vinnie, out with a busted appendix.

Lucille Plum - Vinnie's wife, daughter of Harry the Hammer.

Madam Zaretski - One of Vinnie's sexual diversions, specializing in whips and chains.

Harry the Hammer - Vinnie's father-in-law.

Dickie Orr - Stephanie's ex-husband, described by Grandma Mazur as "a horse's behind."

Mooch Morelli - Joe Morelli's cousin.

Ranger - Bounty hunter extraordinaire. "Professor Higgins" to Stephanie's "Eliza Doolittle." Notable quote: "There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing."

Ziggy Kulesza - Body guard to boxer Benito Ramirez. He is found shot in the head, and Morelli is the prime suspect.

Carmen Sanchez - Informant in whose apartment Ziggy Kulesza was shot. She is missing from the time of the murder.

Benito Ramirez - Outstanding heavyweight boxer. World-class psycho. Notable quote: "You're scared now, I can smell it..."

Mrs. Morelli - Joseph Morelli's mother. Housewife of heroic proportions Notable quote: "Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right now."

Francie - Stephanie's cousin, who knows everything about everyone.

Eddie Gazarra - Trenton cop. One of Stephanie's best friends since birth. Married to Stephanie's cousin, Shirley the Whiner.

Shirley the Whiner - Stephanie's cousin, married to Eddie Gazarra.

Valerie - Stephanie's perfect sister.

Sal Bocha - Owner of Sal's Butcher Shop and small-time bookie.

Mrs. Becker - Tenant on the third floor of Stephanie's building.

Mrs. Delgado - Tenant in Stephanie's building.

Emilio - Owner of the pawn shop that Stephanie frequents.

Sunny - Owner of a gun store where Stephanie buys her gear and learns to shoot.

Mrs. Santiago - Tenant in the building where Ziggy Kulesza was shot.

John Kuzak - Tenant in the building where Ziggy Kulesza was shot. Vietnam veteran, hard drinker. Has a rattler tattooed on his forehead.

Edleman - Another person who was on the scene just after Ziggy was shot. Killed in a hit and run shortly after.

Carlene - Apparent lady friend of Joe Morelli who leaves some suggestive messages on his answering machine.

Clarence Sampson - A big, fat, drunk FTA. Stephanie's first apprehension.

Andy Zabotsky - Man who captured a FTA while standing in line waiting for a bucket of chicken.

"Crazy" Carl Costanza - Trenton cop who took in Stephanie's first FTA. Stephanie's childhood friend.

Gus Dembrowski - PC working the Zulesza case.

Shirley Gallo - Wife of Mooch Morelli. Noted for her "ballooning" figure after marriage.

Al - Associate of Ranger who installed a car alarm for Stephanie (in a car she had technically stolen herself).

Lula - Heavyweight prostitute who Stephanie interviews in pursuit of Morelli.

Jackie - Another full figured prostitute that Stephanie questions. Friend of Lula.

Jimmy Alpha - Manager of boxer Benito Ramirez.

Dillon Ruddick - The super of Stephanie's building.

Mrs. Luger - Lives two doors down from Stephanie.

Lonnie Dodd - FTA who becomes Stephanie's second apprehension. Shot Ranger with Stephanie's gun.

Mr Wolesky - Lives across the hall from Stephanie.

Dorsey - PC who works the crime scene at Stephanie's apartment.

William Earling - Senior citizen and exhibitionist. FTA that Stephanie brings in for $200.

Louis - "Mystery witness" who was on the scene when Ziggy Kulesza was shot. Later seen at Sal's Butcher shop