 |
 |
- Perpetrator Name and Alias: Janet Evanovich, Alias: Jersey Janet, Alias: Mom
- D.O.B.: April 22
- Wanted For: Not writing novels fast enough
- Previous Offenses: Washington, D.C., Virginia and Maryland-- writing steamy romance novels
- Current M.O.: Author of Metro series and Stephanie Plum series
- Known Associates: Daughter and webmaster, Alex and granddog, Barnaby.
- Early background: Painter, mother of two, thought she was a horse during her childhood
- Last Known Residence: New Hampshire and Florida
- Distinguishing Characteristics: Red hair, foul mouth
- Hobbies: Eating donuts
- Usual Attire: T-shirt and jeans
- Conclusion: Approach with caution, a camera and a copy of Metro Girl.
|
 |
- Perpetrator Name and Alias: Alexandra Evanovich, Alias: Alex
- D.O.B.: July 26
- Wanted For: Doing perpetrator case file bios
- Previous Offenses: Giving non-answers on the questions and answer section of evanovich.com
- Current M.O.: Webmaster of evanovich.com, Evanovich newsletter creator, designer of Evanovich merchandise
- Known Associates: Mother, Janet and dog, Barnaby
- Early background: Photographer and baker
- Last Known Residence: New Hampshire and Massachusetts
- Distinguishing Characteristics: Platinum hair
- Hobbies: Hockey
- Usual Attire: NASCAR T-shirt and jeans
- Conclusion: Approach with caution. Suspect is always in the company of a St. Bernard. Carries stickers and key tags.
|
 |
- Perpetrator Name and Alias: Barnaby Evanovich, Alias: The Beast, Alias: The Baby, Alias: Barkaby, Alias: Droolasaurus
- D.O.B.: October 16
- Wanted For: Excessive drooling
- Previous Offenses: Eating his mom's favorite hat and snoring
- Current M.O.: Carrier of Metro Girl stickers
- Known Associates: Mother, Alex and Grandmother, Janet
- Early background: Chaser of balls and tinkler on floors
- Last Known Residence: New Hampshire and Massachusetts
- Distinguishing Characteristics: Tongue that doesn't fit in mouth, enormous feet
- Hobbies: Eating, chew bones, being bad, eating, sleeping, digging up flowers and eating
- Usual Attire: Backpack and matching NASCAR collar and leash
- Conclusion: Approach with caution, you may get slimed.
|
 |
- Perpetrator Name and Alias: Ken Wilson, Alias: Ken
- D.O.B.: October 1
- Wanted For: Soliciting authors on unsuspecting bookstores
- Previous Offenses: Has been Evanovich's hitman since Four to Score
- Current M.O.: Trouble shooter, balloon blower upper
- Known Associates: Fish that can't tell the difference between a clump of nylon string and a bug
- Early background: Game show winner, screenplay writer, Los Angeles escort
- Last Known Residence: California
- Distinguishing Characteristics: When near Costcos and Sam's Clubs he stands outside with a sign that reads "Metro Problems?"
- Hobbies: Fly fishing
- Usual Attire: Slacks and sports coat
- Conclusion: Approach with caution. Suspect is always armed with a line from The Simpsons.
|
 |
- Perpetrator Name and Alias: Rhett Evens, Alias: Rocket, Alias: Bus Driver Dude
- D.O.B.: December 31
- Wanted For: Soliciting authors on unsuspecting bookstores
- Previous Offenses: Bus driver for Vassar Clements, Pointer Sisters, Lionel Richie, the Judds, Kiss, Reba and Garth
- Current M.O.: St. Bernard hauler
- Known Associates: 105 lb. yellow lab named Otis
- Early background: Drove 18 wheelers
- Last Known Residence: Tennessee
- Distinguishing Characteristics: Honks bus horn back at Metro maniacs
- Hobbies: Boating
- Usual Attire: Jeans and a button down shirt
- Conclusion: Approach with caution. Driver is armed with a bus that has a twelve foot Janet on the side.
|
